andrew mcmahon

is absolute brilliant.

i thought i'd confess my love. :)

something corporate and jack's mannequin;

any song that is accompanied by either of those titles, are garunteed to be beautiful.

every song is so filled with emotion and you can tell its from the heart,

perfect.

absolute love.

---

a friend calls me up, with her heart heavy still,

she said, ' andy, the doctors prescribed me the pills,

but i know i'm not crazy, i just lost my will. so why am i,

why am i, taking them, still? '

give me something to believe in, a breath from the breathing.

---

there's a pain in my stomach from another sleepless binge,

and i struggle to get myself up again.

i want to hang onto something that won't break away or fall apart,

like the pieces of my heart.

globes and maps, are all around me now.

---

maybe, baby, could you keep me up in bed?

my konstantine, you spin round me like a dream,

we played out on this movie screen.

and i said, ' did you know i miss you? '

can you imagine how badly i'm stoking on seeing him in june?

for the record

1. she's my friend. i'm going to want to see her every so often . i understand that you don't like her, doesn't change the fact that i do. don't be mad at me for living my life. ( i'm not trying to be rude, it just needs to be said ) .



2. it ISN'T funny when you offer me meat. i don't eat it, and the joke is not going to be funny forever. and it never was to begin with. 'ooh, a hamburger. i know charlotte will like that. ha fucking ha.' you sound like an idiot. ( this isn't directed at anyone in particular, a ton of people have done it ) .



3. i'm not going to talk if i'm upset.



4. i smoke weed, get over it.



5. holding grudges, i'll admit, is something i used to excel at. i've come to realize that they do nobody any good and are an entire waste of energy. live and let live. if you have a problem with somebody, don't let it become an aspect of your life.



6. no matter what i do, somebody is going to be mad at me. sometimes its going to be you. i do what i can. its not my job to belong to one person. i can only try to make a sad face a happy one.

i don't know where i'm going with this. i have to read hamlet. i have air traffic stuck in my head. i love aqualung. and danny noriega is an idiot.

give me a reason

maybe i'm being over dramatic. but this is from the heart.

it seems,
that lately..
no. scratch that.
for the past, oh, 6 months or so, i've been feeling things that i never thought i would have to,
about someone who i never thought would leave.
it seem,
as of late,
i'm no longer good enough,
not second best.
i'm the last resort in your eyes.
and i'd just like to know.

WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONG.
what the hell did i do to deserve the back burner?
i know i didn't change.
but you did. and not for the better.

do you even remember, how it used to be?
'best friends forever', hangouts everyday, and i even got a 'our lives would suck if we had never met each other'.
so what changed?
sure, i'm not like them.
but that never stopped you before.
i'm all for you finding your way, meeting new people, trying new things..
but i still exist.
maybe you're ready to leave our friendship to rest,
but i just don't think i am.
is that so much for me to ask?

everyone notices, by the way.
maybe you don't.
or maybe you do but just can't acknowledge whats happening.
i keep trying to make it work, but you just don't seem interested.
do you remember, when we were inseperable?

i miss you bestfriend. i don't think you know how much.
i miss our good times. i wish they didn't have to live such a short life.
the hardest part,
is knowing we'll never get it back.

so have fun, enjoy your life, do what you need to do.
but remember:
when you feel like giving a shit.
i'm not going to be all forgiving.
i can only hope for change.

"if i'm going to lose you. i'll lose you now for good."

to begin

16 - female - lost in the process.

i find myself walking down the hall wondering if this is who i am supposed to be. i'll think i've figured it out for one week then discover something new and reconsider everything. for the most part, i know that i'm never going to be 'normal'. wow how cry-me-a-river does THAT sound. i'm always going to be a little off the tracks. but i think i like it that way.

i'm a vegetarian and i love artistry. ( visual - music - dramatic ) creativity. expression. emotions. anything but nothing.
it fills my life and i truly believe life, not only mine but everyones, would be entirely pointless without it. life is what you make it. so make it interesting.

i'm tired. its thunderstorming outside. lazy saturday.