give me a reason

maybe i'm being over dramatic. but this is from the heart.

it seems,
that lately..
no. scratch that.
for the past, oh, 6 months or so, i've been feeling things that i never thought i would have to,
about someone who i never thought would leave.
it seem,
as of late,
i'm no longer good enough,
not second best.
i'm the last resort in your eyes.
and i'd just like to know.

WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONG.
what the hell did i do to deserve the back burner?
i know i didn't change.
but you did. and not for the better.

do you even remember, how it used to be?
'best friends forever', hangouts everyday, and i even got a 'our lives would suck if we had never met each other'.
so what changed?
sure, i'm not like them.
but that never stopped you before.
i'm all for you finding your way, meeting new people, trying new things..
but i still exist.
maybe you're ready to leave our friendship to rest,
but i just don't think i am.
is that so much for me to ask?

everyone notices, by the way.
maybe you don't.
or maybe you do but just can't acknowledge whats happening.
i keep trying to make it work, but you just don't seem interested.
do you remember, when we were inseperable?

i miss you bestfriend. i don't think you know how much.
i miss our good times. i wish they didn't have to live such a short life.
the hardest part,
is knowing we'll never get it back.

so have fun, enjoy your life, do what you need to do.
but remember:
when you feel like giving a shit.
i'm not going to be all forgiving.
i can only hope for change.

"if i'm going to lose you. i'll lose you now for good."